How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Golden Retriever:
 The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got
our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a
stupid light bulb?

Border Collie:  Just one.  Then I'll replace any wiring that is not
up to code.

Dachshund:  You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler:  Make me.

Boxer:  Who cares?  I can still play with my squeaky toys in
the dark.

Lab:  Oh me, me!!!  Pleeeeeeeze let me change the lightbulb!  Can
I? Can I?  Huh? Huh?  Huh?  Can I?  Pleeeeeeeze, please, please.

German Shepard:  I'll change it as soon as I've led these people
from the dark, checked to make sure I haven't missed any, and
make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried
to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier:  I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog:  Light Bulb?  I'm sorry but I don't see a
light bulb.

Cocker Spaniel:  Why change it?  I can still pee on the carpet
in the dark.

Chihuahua:  Yo quiero Taco Bulb.  Or, "we don't need no stinking
light bulb."

Greyhound:  It isn't moving, who cares?

Australian Shepard:  First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little

Poodle:  I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.
By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

How many Cats does it take to change a light bulb?
 Cats do not change light bulbs, people change light bulbs.
So, the real question is "how long will it be before I can expect
some light, some dinner and a massage?"